Tweaks and twinges...

You would think with my third labour impending I would have a good idea of what was going on with my body. You'd think I'd just *know* when things were beginning to happen. But for some strange reason it's like being a first timer again...

My first birth (looking back), was quite horrendous. We were living overseas at the time and a hospital birth was really the only option I was aware of. I had a brilliant GP/OB who I loved, but of course she wasn't the one on call when I fronted up 10 days early to the labour ward. In hindsight, I went to hospital far too early. I'd been having irregular cramping which I willed into more regular time intervals over the course of a day or two. I'd had a 'show'. And by my second hospital visit I was 5 cm dilated and they wouldn't 'let me go home' despite the fact I wasn't in 'active labour'.

After lots of pressure to allow the on call doctor to rupture my membranes I agreed, and suddenly I got a very quick lesson in what labour really felt like! F was posterior and I had all the cliche responses to the pain...from wondering why I'd ever gotten pregnant, to just wanting to die...

Four hours after that I asked for the epidural I'd been trying so hard to avoid (I was still only 6 cm). Unfortunately the epi did not go in straight and only one side of my lower body was properly numb. This meant they ended up 'turning up' the medication and I ended up on my back, shivering and feeling like absolute crap.

Anyway you can probably fill in the rest of the story...what followed isn't so unusual for first time hospital births it would seem. My blood pressure rose, bubs heart rate dropped, and several hours later in a flurry of activity I was given an episiotomy and F was yanked out with forceps. Of course I was minutes away from a c-secion (apparently).

A myriad things that still make me a little sad followed. Including the nurse taking my new baby away for a bath in the middle of the night, and me, struggling to follow so I could be present.

At the time, I didn't think much of the whole experience, good or bad. I mean it wasn't great - but that was childbirth right? And I had a beautiful baby boy to boot. I've since been told by someone I trust (upon reading my hospital notes), that I was given good care. But some of things that were said and done to me still make me cringe...And I've since learned birth can be a lot better than that.

When I found myself pregnant again, I initially figured I would book into a birth centre. Homebirth wasn't an option for me - it's not something I'd ever considered before. However the more I learned about it, and the more I learned the statistics of a successful homebirth, rates of transfer etc, the more it made sense. Initially, to be totally frank, my biggest issue was going to be leaving F to go somewhere else to have the baby. He was still breastfeeding and had never been away from us at night. At the time I could not begin to comtemplate that!

So skip to the best part - I planned, and had, a very easy homebirth with my second child. The labour signals were loud and clear. A show the day before, then broken waters. Contractions that build up just like they do in the text book cases, and a very distinct urge to push. With the assistance of two competent midwives, in the comfort of my home, my eldest running up and down the path outside my bedroom with his grandma, I had my baby girl - Miss M. No drugs, no tears, no problems.

Given my second experience, I guess it's no surprise that I'm planning to have this third baby at home. I can't speak highly enough of the experience. There is nothing quite as sweet as being tucked into your own bed within an hour of giving birth, with a cup of tea (if you are very careful!!) and a newborn at the breast. No need to go anywhere, or do anything...

And here I was wanting to talk about tweaks and twinges! I'm getting there I promise!

Well I guess my own story could be said to be fairly typical for many women. First births are notoriously difficult. If they are had in hospital they often involve interventions which may or not be necessary - but I think for the most part they can be difficult no matter where they are had. Apparently second births are the reward for the first, difficult birth. Second babies are supposed to birth easily. And look I know not everyone has had that experience, but this is what I've heard anecdotally from other mothers, from my midwives etc, and what has been my own experience.

So of course third births have to have their own pattern of behaviour! Which I've heard is to not follow a pattern at all! Apparently it's not unusual for there to be on and off bouts of pre-labour amounting to not much, but then when labour starts in earnest it can be very quick indeed. My experience matches this at the moment. I've had more than one evening of thinking "maybe this is it". A few nights of just being sick to my stomach, with painless contractions one after the other and not wanting to move from the couch. Flurries of nesting and quirky little pains in my nether regions...

I want to just brush off these tweaks and twinges, but can't help but be hopeful that they will turn into something! I am desperate to meet this baby! At the same time I've sort of stopped waiting. Because I know, that for sure, this baby IS coming. And it's coming soon...one way or another, ready or not!