Writing time

Well that feel good feeling came and went...(doesn't help my larks wake up quite unnecessarily at 5.00 am these days) I mean really what did you expect? I haven't found a way to bottle patience either!

I'm not sure what we'll do today. The kids had a busy day with Grandma yesterday which involved much running around at the local park amongst other things. They are always exhausted on Fridays. Unlike me, who often finds my attention divided between the myriad housey things that need doing and the needs of the kids, mum devotes her whole day to them and they just love it! Anyway there's a hint of a cold brewing in each of them and I'd like to do what I can to keep that at bay also.

Although my freezer is full of vegie soup, I changed my recipe for the last batch and it wasn't up to scratch, so I may make a fresh batch for lunch. That said maybe chicken noodle would suit the kids better (if I can even get the wee one to eat! She has been quite the fusspot of late).

So it's only 7.30am here, and most of my friends and their children are probably still sleeping (lucky buggers). Mine are working on their 'writings'. F had been writing real letters and asking me how to spell stuff to facilitate that a few weeks ago (has been writing his name for well over a year) - but he's since decided on a new style, which looks remarkeably like Arabic (and he does it from right to left too!) He occupied him himself for well over an hour doing this the other day...and everything they do is 'especially for you mum'. Not sure where to keep all these early 'letters'!



Tomorrow I might even post about knitting!

Life is good!

Somedays this feeling comes so easily...For me at least, this doesn't mean anything in my life has actually changed, just that I perceive it differently. Oh I know there are days when nothing seems to go right, and the weight of the world is on your shoulders - and yet, if you break it all down, and look at all the little crisis, and issues and worries a lot of them are so unnecessary in the scheme of things...

Of course, there are people out there dealing with real issues of poverty, hunger, illness and the loss of loved ones. It's so easy to forget this when our own lives are filled with abundance. Now to learn to remember these blessings every day, as surely feeling this way is a blessing in itself.

Pass out

My lovely husband has given me a pass out to attend the footy tomorrow night with a good mate of mine (unfortunately a Tigers supporter). By coincidence, the last game I attended was a Essendon v Richmond game...to witness the Victorian send off of Sheeds and Hirdy. I was as sick as a dog that night with the flu, accompanied by a good dose of anxiety amongst other things, but I couldn't bear to miss it. I also went alone, which is OK, but not as much fun as going with someone...not to mention we lost.

Hopefully tomorrow night we will break our recent losing streak. Unfortunatley, given my current state (of 33.5 weeks pregnant), I'm not feeling a heck of a lot better than I was at that last game! Admittedly I'm not exactly unwell, but I haven't figured out the logistics of getting to the game. If I have to walk too far from public transport then I will surely slow down my companions, and I'm seriously contemplating a cab, preferably to the gate!

It doesn't help matters that we are out tonight for a birthday dinner. I am going to be absolutely wiped by the end of this weekend!

Too much to do!

Ahhh I don't know what it is but today I feel swamped! It's like all the little things I figured I'd do 'tomorrow' now need to be done TODAY. It's more a feeling than a reality to be sure, but I'd still like to get on top of a few of them.

So I'm making a list...it's not going to make for very interesting reading...

-make bread
-clean bathroom
-do as many loads of washing as I can cope with + putting away
-prepare dinner (cannelloni and green salad)
-pick up dog poo, empty compost
-get money for naturopath appt
-pick up book we accidentally returned to library
-work on birthday present (montego bay scarf) for friend for Friday (yikes...lucky Friday is the dinner and not her real birthday...I can string her out until the 27th if necessary!)
-vacuum
-study

I know there is more. I'm too scared to look in my diary to be certain. And I think it's quite indicative of how my studies are coming to see it at the bottom of the list. If I felt I could put it at the top then it would be more likely to get done, but food is first, and really the bathroom is feral!

OK have to finish this post on a more positive note. Check out this cutie in her finished cardigan! She's at creche right now, refusing to take it off I suspect!

A good day for soup!

One thing I have really come to value (despite it occasionally resembling a chore), is cooking for my family. Sure there are times when I wish someone else would take care of it - I mean it would be heaven to be cooked for now and then, but I take a lot of pride in nourishing us all.

I'm not one for extravagant foods, and I never follow a recipe. A lot of the joy I get out of preparing food comes from simply knowing what is put into it. For example, bar a couple of handy helpers (like powdered stock!), I cook nearly everything from scratch. Each week I make a decision what meals we are going to eat, and am careful to balance out all the different food groups, trying to ensure we all get the vitamins and minerals that we need.

One dream that I think will never fade will be to grow more of our own fruit and vegetables (we have a modest plot for vegies at the moment), and to one day inhabit a gourmet kitchen that will really allow me to spread my wings a little more. I would love to be able to make my own tomato paste/sauce for example and fruit jams amongst other things.

Anyway first thing this morning I found myself in the kitchen preparing something tasty for lunch.

Voila! Minestrone and freshly baked bread...it was very yummy indeed (if you look closely you can even see the steam rising from both).

Six hours later...

I have 30 minutes until DH comes home...must clean up!

More about mess...

I'm sorry to harp on about this, really I am. I'm tired, so very tired. Well not totally true...it's not a sleep thing...my body is just heavy and unwilling, and my mind is having a freak out over another 8-10 weeks of full on fatigue (gosh that's optimistic isn't it? Better remember there's a baby coming after that...don't think that does much for the energy stores either!)

You will probably look at the picture above and think 'mess', 'what mess'? I wish I felt that way. There is stuff all around and it's only 9.30 am. It's scary to think if I did absolutely nothing today what we would end up with. I'm sure I have some days ahead where I am going to find out. (Oh and you can't see all the stuff behind me, the washing and bits and bobs that children like to relocate around the house).

Yesterday was my 'day off'. The day mum has both kids. The day I am supposed to rest, recharge, do nothing. But I had a midwife appointment after dropping them off, and then I thought, 'oh I'll just get myself a bite to eat at Southland', and before I knew it, it was 2.00 pm and I wondered if I'd have the energy to make it back to the car. Infact I thought I might not, so I sat down and had one of those $20 neck and shoulder massages first. I fell asleep just at the end and then it was time to go.

I know that I'm pregnant, I know I'm supposed to rest, and I know it's all normal. But is there anything more frustrating than really really wanting to do stuff and your body says no? This is what it must feel like when you injure yourself, or when you get old... Something to keep in mind I guess...

No, I didn't have any fun!

If I ever want to earn mummy points I take my kids to the park. I give the points to myself...I'm not sure the kids necessarily notice from one day to the next what we have or haven't done. Infact they seem to want more the more they get! Funny that! No, I give myself the points because I feel bad about not taking them more often, and I really feel it's something they should get to do at least a couple of times a week (oh and especially when the weather is so so gorgeous).

I'm not sure what my aversion to the park is. It's certainly a lot easier to take them now that I'm not worried about M hurting herself and she can hold her own and tackle all the equipment. I get a bit antsy about her toileting (she's trained, but still having accidents), and being 7 months pregnant I'm very aware that if they are not under voice control at any given time I'd be at a bit of a loss to reign them in. I also can tend to find it inexplicably boring...but I do try to give into the moment and just enjoy the kids enjoying themselves.

So yesterday, we had our postponed Mother's Day dinner with mum and nan. Roast pork and sticky date pudding YUM. I promised F pudding, and of course dinner was running late and he was almsot due for bedtime but I had to keep my word to him. Any mums out there should manage to put two and two together and come up with a TANTRUM. Yeah, sticky date pudding right before bed isn't the brightest idea but it was a once in a blue moon thing...

Anyway during this tantrum I managed to settle the little big boy and tried to get him to have a chat about our day. I asked him if he had a good time at the park. "NO, I didn't have ANY FUN at the park" was his emphatic reply. Luckily I had the photographic evidence close at hand to refute this...and he had to admit in the end that it was a fun day!

What do you think?!

Happy Mother's Day

Will I ever learn?

I know I've probably blogged all this before, and undoubtedly, if I continue blogging for long enough I'll blog it all again...but I am old and I am pregnant, so you'll have to forgive my memory and need to repeat myself.

When you are a mother you never get to the bottom of the pile. Infact you probably don't need to be a mother to know and feel this, but motherhood surely drums it in. Even when I was childless I struggled to live in the moment. My partner and I aren't what I'd call 'neat freaks' by any stretch, but we both enjoy a clean house, and tend to relax once we've finished everything on our 'to do' lists. It has been a long time since that happened...and yeah, we're not so relaxed these days. Some days (most days) the bare necessities get done and something gets added to the list. As Murphy would have it, if we get close to finishing all the stuff we feel we must something turns the house upside down...(nothing like a household of illness for example, and a mountain of washing materialises).

We try to do the right things by our kids, but a lot of the time I feel they're being shortchanged as we struggle to keep on top of life. They do have one thing with us that many kids may not...and that is time. With me at home and hubby working just the 37.5 hours most weeks they have a lot of our time...they don't even realise how it could be, and how it is for many families around with two parents working, or a mum or dad who has to work late and just makes it home for bedtime.

Anyway I don't know where I'm going with this. I just feel swamped. I want to get to the bottom of the pile. I want to have a day where I really don't feel the weight of all the stuff that needs to be done to keep our household ticking over. The truth is I do a lot for myself compared to some mums I'm sure. I manage to knit, watch a bit of telly, and catch up with girlfriends from time to time. I read a few pages of a book each day...what more is it I'm searching for?

Maybe just a day to be a human being rather than a human doing. It's hard, but I'm trying.

Proof I'm still knitting...and other stuff

I reckon if photos weren't such a big part of blogging, I'd blog every day. These little administrative tasks always tend to trip me up. It can take a good 30 minutes to upload, rename, resize and correctly position photos in a decent blog post. Perhaps I'm doing something wrong?

I do so enjoy photos in other people's blogs and feel that a post sans pictures has to be extra special to stand on it's own!

Anyway, this post is picture heavy now that I've taken the time to sit down...Perhaps they aren't very exciting to anyone else, but they are a window into our little world aren't they?

Firstly, I have been knitting. A little here and there. I'm trying to concentrate on smaller (manageable, and finishable projects!) I've lost the Ravelry love somewhere along the way and it means I can be a bit scattered as to what WIPS I have, and what's completed etc...kind of like my aversion to organising photos, updating on Rav hasn't been a big priority. (Can I just say this baby will *not* stop moving...you know, the one in my tummy!! It can be quite distracting at times!) So here are a few little things I've been doing...


Piggy, which is out of a Waldorf craft book I have. The animals are gorgeous, but the instructions leave a little to be desired.











A wee soaker for bubs. Still to be embellished. I had this wool dyed from ages ago when I was still selling woolies. I had forgotten how absolutely gorgeously squishy BFL is to knit with. YUM. And I have to say I still love my soaker pattern!









Here are pieces of a cardigan for M blocking before they are seamed and I do the bands and the hood. Here is the pattern. Isn't it gorgeous? I was so tempted to go and find some colours just like the picture, but given the girth of my wool basket, it only seemed right to knit from stash. The purple is possum/merino so not only will it be deliciously warm, it will also remain pill free!








This is for a present (wool dyed by me of course!) for an upcoming birthday. I have a habit of starting birthday gifts too late, and then presenting or showing the birthday person one half as proof I have them in mind (Sam, I will finish that other sock one day I promise - I'll also send that sock yarn!) So this may or may not be too ambitious (I have until May 23rd). It's not that it's not doable within that timeframe, it's just that I'm so easily distracted, and making two of something, no matter how small, always proves a challenge.





Here are a few little organisational things we are almost on top of. A spare bed on the floor next to ours for M, or for me, or for dad, or even for F depending on whomever needs it at the time. M starts off in here, and I was going down to her for the first little while, but my bed is so much more comfortable that I've invited her back in with us when she wakes. Unfortunately she's still a bed hog, so I'm hopeful she'll stick to her bed on the floor once bubs arrives.









My handier half has done a wonderful job as per usual hanging shelves. He built that soaker rail too which I love. So the change station is mostly good to go, full of nappies and teeny tiny clothes!









Last but not least, I could not stop myself from buying a few (a few just means more than 2 right?) new nappies. The Kissaluvs (those lovely wee little pastel things) will only be used for a few weeks, when I will sell them on to someone else...I bought them with this in mind. I already have 7 of them, but they have been used on 4 bums over the last 4.5 years and are a little worse for wear so I don't mind supplementing them. The yellow and and one of the lilac naps are Dream-Eze organic cotton, and there is also a lilac Dream-Eze AIO. I've never owned a 'true' AIO, and plan to get more in the larger sizes if they work well.

Well that is it from me for today I think! Bubs is still doing acrobatics in my tum, and miss M is almost ready for bed...

Reminiscing Part 1

Even though I could blog about any number of goings ons after such a big break between posts, instead I'm going to cheat and post some old photos that I love. These are all from out time in Canada where we lived between 1997 - 2004. They are also all pre-kids (except for the cat and dog of course!)

I have to confess that I spent a ridiculous amount of time pining for home whilst we were overseas...and of course it's so easy to look back now and wonder what was I thinking?!






This is at Joffre Lakes, in British Columbia. A series of 3 lakes, each one steeper and more spectacular than the last. I believe this is the first lake...I'll have to post a pic of the third one soon. If you hike far enough past the last lake you hit a glacier...it's really something to see and a lovely summer hike.










This is Mt Baker in Washington State. You can ski here in winter time although I never have.









I wish I could remember what they were looking at! We still have these same pets. They had to make the long journey from Vancouver to Melbourne when we came home in 2004. Very brave they were...





Gorgeous gorgeous snowy day. This was the first house (or townhouse rather) we bought! It's just that first part of the building you see on the left. Can you believe there are 3 bedrooms in there? It looks so tiny to me. I wasn't very big but it was a step up from our one bedroom apartment! Not much fun trying to get out of that driveway on a snowy day though...infact some days it was just not possible!



Ahh, love on top of a mountain. Skiing on a sunny day...