Finding the balance

I confess - I am a hopeless internet addict.

It all started years ago when I was living in a foreign country with no family, few friends and a partner who worked 12 hour shifts. For the lonely homebody the internet is a boon to be sure. The thing is I never have really been a lonely homebody - at least not until I moved overseas.

When I became pregnant I immediately joined Babycenter and jumped into an online forum (around this time I think I even used to frequent a Bold and the Beautiful forum *gasp*, as well as one for stepparents). Others like mothering.com followed. I eventually tired of my 'due date' group on Babycenter...but it's not as if I knew people on there in real life anyway. And for me these days, being part of the net really is wanting to meet people and participate in real life - a means to an end if you will. That's not to suggest being online and communicating via a keyboard isn't very real for many people. But honestly...I'm looking for relationships where I can pick up the phone, or have somebody call me, make plans to meet etc.

I love that there are people interstate or overseas who can comment on my blog and me on theirs - but if you live up the street from me and don't want to sit down and have a cuppa in person well what does that say?

Nearly five years ago I moved back to Australia - my home, with all sorts of expectations of picking up old threads of my life. Of course before I moved overseas I'd been single and sans child - and whilst my life here in Australia was freeze framed for me, friends lives had gone on during that time. A few friendships endured, and these will be my forever friends, but with a young child it was the company of mamas I most craved and sought out.

Through local forums I made some new and dear friends. People I care about but don't often get to see.

It's hit the point now though, where I feel like I travel on the periphery of some of these social networking groups, even though I've been a part of them for years now. Surely it would be more advantageous to be living my life, than watching other people live theirs? Here I was thinking I was a part of something, a participant - when really for the most part I'm just an observer, a lurker even.

I know I'm skirting around the point of this post. Suffice to say being without the internet for a month or so when we moved really wasn't such a bad thing. I need to find a way to pull back again and try to redress the imbalance.