Getting deep

I've always considered myself a fairly educated and forward thinking person. Yes, at times I am judgemental, but I do challenge myself to transcend this human foible, and aspire to be a non discriminating, tolerant and hopefully politically correct (and I mean that in the best possible way) person.

On my life's journey my thoughts and beliefs have evolved as most of ours (I hope) do with the the birth of my children, the coming of age, the getting of wisdom.

I would say not a day goes by when I don't learn something, or when my unexamined traditional thought processes aren't interrupted in some way. Although I bemoan my inability to escape the internet at times, I have learned so much from participating in forums, and lately, reading interesting blogs.

Of interest to me at the moment is the 'fat acceptance' movement and the many blogs dedicated to it. I would say all contributers of these blogs also identify strongly as feminists and have a lot to say about all sorts of discrimination - not just discrimination against fat people. Somehow (and it's not a bad thing) I am easily swayed by intelligent voices and I need to time to really process my own opinions...but one thing I am surely challenging are my own prejudices. Frankly it's been refreshing, but it also opens new cans of worms for me. You can't 'unknow' what you learn. You can't 'unbelieve' what you know is the truth.

With that in mind I can't read and be accepting of others without pausing to accept myself. I can't continue to discriminate against myself despite considering myself a tolerant person.

I know this post isn't very coherent at the moment, and perhaps I'll return to revise it when I don't have a baby draining all fluids (and perhaps some brain cells with them) via my mammary glands.

I guess I'm just enjoying being challenged, learning, revising, re-assessing. But I'm also left wondering how it is I'm going to just say to that person in the mirror "you're OK". It's something I feel I've needed to do for awhile.