In the garden

I am not a gardener by any stretch of the imagination, but occasionally I have aspirations.

When we bought this house, it was the garden that sold me...and my young girl dreams of having a beautiful garden...especially one where there was a back and a front and you could run right around, were suddenly in reach...

The truth is, I have almost no time for gardening at the moment. Well actually, I could probably find time to garden, but as I have no idea what I'm doing I'd like to do a bit of learning first...and I have no time combined with sufficient brainpower to learn about gardening at the moment. I leave that to my hubby and he has bought books and sat online selecting the right plants to fill in some gaps in our garden. Added bonus is that he seems to enjoy it.

Here are the kids helping out with the planting.





Can you see who M takes after now? If I posted a photo of my mother in law it would be even clearer.

Here are some random early blooms in our garden. Some of them unidentified...must look up that pretty little orange and red one.



And here is happiness...washing on the line, three kids in the giant playpen (urm I mean trampoline).



Bring on spring! Can't wait to spend more of my days in the garden!

Hello *waves*

Hello my poor neglected blog.

I wish there was something really thrilling, exciting and stupendous to share...but alas life just plodding along here (well the days are plodding, the weeks as you know fly by).

I took some photos of my garden yesterday and will share a little later.

Here's what I got!

What no philosophising? No boring family anecdotes? You mean actual pictures of *gasp* yarn and *gasp* more knitting?

Yes siree.

Here are a few wee things I picked up at Bendigo this year...



Now lets see if I can remember them all...Polwarth natural chocolate (on the needles), Mayhem & Chaos 100% Alpaca, laceweight (a prize no less! for runner up in the Ravelry lace garments comp!) Wooldancer 100% organic merino in a rainbow colourway, Pear Tree Merino 4 ply, Ixchel laceweight cashmere/merino blend, some lovely soaps (destined to become this years kinder teacher Christmas presents), and some gorgeous gorgeous buttons (around which garments shall be fashioned to suit)

Was lovely to meet and catch up with so many Ravelry peeps, special mention of course to the Ballarat posse of Sam and Jacki, and fellow stitch and bitcher Kylie!

Looking forward to next year already :).

Getting ready for Bendigo!

Not sure whether to blog about the fact that is our 10th wedding anniversary tomorrow, or the fact that I'm heading up to Bendigo for the Annual Sheep and Wool show!

Either way I'm prepared for the drive and meeting all the other wonderful knitty folk I know :).

New Connections

When I was at school, life was pretty cruisy and friendships came pretty easily. There were cliques, and I had a few very close friends, but I felt friendly with most of the girls in my year level, and had lots of friends in other year levels as I was so involved with music, band practice, choir etc. As well, because I had to travel by public transport a fair way for most of high school, I also had friends who went to different schools and did the same. I don't remember feeling left out, or overlooked...I guess I was pretty lucky in that regard as I'm pretty sure that isn't necessarily every person's experience.

Looking back, I've lost touch with 95% of those people who were once a big part of my life. Only the strongest friendships survived my move overseas which took me away for about 7 years.

I've made many connections through having children, but the friendships (at least in the way I perceive friendship) have come more slowly. And I'm finding this preschool/school stage tricky territory to navigate at times. Because whilst the people I'm meeting all have one important thing in common, parenthood, that doesn't necessarily make us compatible on any other level.

And I'm sure as many of us have experienced, it's not always the parents of our kids 'friends' who we click with the most. Infact many of the women I'm talking to frequently at pick up and drop off, aren't parents of children my boy plays with.

Yesterday as I travelled close to our old suburb I was feeling quite flat about it all. I'd made some really nice connections at our old kinder which are very hard to maintain livng much further away with preschool kids to ferry around. I did start to wonder whether we made a good choice in moving. I know these feelings are fleeting, and it will only take one or two friendships to shift it but these things take time.

Anyway this year is half over, and next year F will go to a different primary school than most of the kids at his kinder. So we start again...although I have heard that it's a really good time to make friends...

And here is my spleen...

Before I decide whether this is a too much information post...I'm just going to dive in.

I've alluded in the past to issues I've had with my 5yo son I'm sure. Perhaps not in too much detail but anyways...there is stuff, always stuff.

My marvellous, spirited, uber intelligent son challenges us on a daily basis. He is not hyper, or 'naughty', or overly anything really...but I don't think he's quite 'normal' either. Define normal? Your guess is as good as mine. But I do think he lies outside the realm of a 'normal' 5 year old in certain ways. And as his parent, I guess in a way I've been desensitised to many of his quirks etc over time. Perhaps I have even been in denial, attributing different behaviours to him being bright, or hungry, or tired, or so many other things.

We have certainly found wheat/gluten does not do him any favours and can unbalance his emotional state very quickly so we avoid foods that contain gluten. But that in itself has not eliminated all his worrisome behaviours (nor my concerns). At 5 he still has serious meltdowns over seemingly trival things - and this despite his obvious intelligence and understanding. (When he comes out of his meltdowns he can talk about them coherently, but he can't actually control them in the moment, nor can he swtich them off for kinder. This is a sign that the problem isn't simply behavioural)

At least one person I know has mentioned the word Aspergers to me ever so gently in conversation...not because she necessarily sees that, or knows him well enough to suggest it - but just in response to what I've mentioned about him. ADD has crossed my mind, but doesn't fit in every sense of the word. It sounds bad, but I suspect I'm a sufferer myself - I find it easy to get hooked on things I enjoy and pretty much impossible to focus on stuff I'm not interested in. I've certainly hoped he is not bipolar...he doesn't seem to get depressed, but then again, some of the traits ring true.

With any of these conditions, diagnosis can seem somewhat subjective, and perhaps pointless in some cases. For example, a negative diagnosis of any of the things I've mentioned won't change the fact that there are behaviours that trouble him (and us). I have to ask myself what I hope to achieve by seeking a professional opinion.

I know at least a part of it is wanting to know that this is not something I have done, or that my parenting can control. I don't want people to see my child doing something and decide I am a lousy parent...it would be easier to say "well he has {insert fancy term}" and hopefully get some understanding. Especially with him starting school...well I'd like to know what I'm working with, and give teachers a heads up too. I know there are ways to mitigate his emotional instability - but it is a lot of work and requires understanding and compassion. He will NOT respond to punitive measures, or traditional disciplinary measures, and infact these are hugely counterproductive!

So we are going to get a referral to a child psychologist who can hopefully shed some light on some of these issues. I think any diagnosis, including no diagnosis is a good thing, because I can put my mind to rest a bit either way. I'll either be relieved to find he is 'normal', or grateful to put a name to our troubles and learn the best way to help him achieve his full potential.

A year ago today...

...I was waiting for my third baby to arrive. As it always tends to, it felt as though I'd been waiting forever by the end...although truth be told she arrived pretty much on my due date. Of course the year has past in a flash - I'm sure quicker than any other year of my life to date.

I know someone else refers to their third as their 'bonus baby', and Neko is surely mine. My hubby was pretty much done, but I always felt strongly another baby was out there, and sure enough - she was.

Obviously I cannot imagine life without her, nor would I want to. She is the spunkiest little thing (well actually she's a lot like her sister in that department), and I love everything about her! Her determination is astounding and she couldn't be more pleased with herself to be walking already!

How I got so lucky to have three such awesome, spirited children, I'll never know...I have tried to relish this last baby, as much as possible, and it is with a mixture of both sadness and relief that I wish my baby a happy first birthday! Our baby days are nearly no more (until the grandchildren of course).

So again, happy birthday my sweet Neko and thank you for the blessings you bring to our family each day!

I wanna start over!

Oh dear, right now I just want to go back to the start. Seriously.

All my life I've been a bit of a perfectionist, although admittedly I've let MOST of that go since having children. I remember at school starting to write something and if the writing wasn't as neat as I liked I'd start over, and over, and over. I wasted a lot of paper and time trying to get those letters just so. It gives me an insight into a lot of my son's behaviours as I can tell he is the same and when things aren't going right for him he will beg to go back a few steps (which isn't always terribly convenient).

So it feels like life has been travelling at warp speed (and honestly we don't even get out that much) and anything that can pile up, has piled up (washing, paperwork, rss feeds) etc. I don't see an end in sight - probably because there just isn't one.

Our computer got a lurgy the other day, and whilst we've got the laptop to use, I haven't spent that much time online the past few days...I would have thought I could get more done around the place as a consequence - not so. When you need time, you can never seem to find enough of it it seems.

Anyway a clean slate would be nice. Everything back to the beginning. House clean, washing sorted and away, paperwork filed, cupboards decluttered and dinner cooked for at least a few days. As much as I hate to do it, I might also have to just mark the 200 or so posts on my google reader as read, because at least that's one thing where you really can just push a button and go back to the start. Oh if only life were that easy!